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So, LJ is trying to tell me that I CAN'T change the security on all my past posts without paying?  How dumb is that?!?  I have to pay $5 minimum to hide all my 8-year-old posts?  That's stupid.  

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The hand-written letter was Leo Tolstoy.
The email is Agatha Christie.
LiveJournal is Jimmy Buffett.
Facebook is the 6 word novel. 

I'm aware of how shallow Facebook is, but my life runs really fast (and shallow) these days.  Blame it on two kids. 
So if you want to find me, Facebook is where I am.  (I'm actually using my real name there.  It's spooky!  I've never used my real name online before!)  

To commemorate this move, I've written a 6 word novel celebrating Facebook: 

Diagnosed with "Attention Deficit.... Oooo Shiny! 
Dexter with eyes open

....Dexter Ashton Talbot.

He was born on 8/7/08, at 2:03 AM. He weighed 8 lbs 13 oz, and is 20 inches long. Read more...Collapse )

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Yes, here I sit in my kitchen, still pregnant. Oh well, it was exciting while it lasted. I guess I'll just have to remain pregnant forever.

The contractions did get more serious, longer and more painful. However, they also started to sort of skip a contraction - sometimes they were 6 minutes apart and sometimes they were more like 11 minutes apart. Nevertheless, they were lasting 45 seconds or longer and getting very painful. Since I have a history (of 1) of short intense labor, we decided to head to the hospital. We had been working up to it all day, it felt like the logical next step.

We got to the hospital, they gave us a room, I changed into their technical marvel (but still ugly) hospital gown, and they hooked me up to the hospital's version of a non-stress test. Then the nurse started the 1001 admission questions, which take a long time, but they're tracking the baby and the contractions the whole time. And in all that time I only had a few contractions. "We have a calming effect on uteruses here, this happens a lot." the nurse told us.

A doctor from our clinic came in to check me out. I hadn't met her before - she's new to our clinic - but I immediately liked her. I felt I was in good hands. Unfortunately, when she checked me she told me "I'm afraid you're not in labor". All those contractions... they didn't count. What she was feeling was that the cervix hadn't moved into position. A posterior cervix means the cervix is facing the wrong way, the baby doesn't have a straight shot to come out. The cervix will move to the anterior position when labor is seriously going on. Also, the shape of the cervical opening was wrong, it wasn't opened up to the perfect circle it should be during active labor. So... no joy. She sent me home, but reassured me about how this happens a lot, and to immediately come back if I feel like I'm in labor again, or if my baby isn't moving right.

So we went home, and thinking that I'd be going back in just a few hours I took a nap. Well, as soon as I laid down the contractions went from being strong but intermittent to non-existent. I guess my uterus had gotten tired from a hard day's work and took the night off. All night long, nothing. This morning, nothing. Now it's 11:30 and I feel like yesterday had never happened, I feel like I did last week.

It's a downer. And if it weren't for the paper on file at my clinic showing at one time I was having regular contractions every 7 minutes, I would think I imagined the whole thing.

Oh well, they were great at the hospital, they have women who come in and then get sent home as "not in labor" every day. I just didn't think it was going to be me. :p It was much easier the first time when my water broke, because then I was obviously in labor. No question. This squishy contraction measuring thing is harder, especially since there is no guarantee that once contractions start getting stronger and closer together that they will continue that way.

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No baby yet... but close.

We've been getting closer to labor all day, but nothing drastic happened. Finally I went to the doctor's office and took a non-stress test, which showed that Baby is doing great, and contractions were about 7 minutes apart. They're closer to 6 or 5 1/2 now. When they get more serious and/or 5 minutes apart we'll head to the hospital.

We're fairly prepared, I'm feeling great, and John is more anxious than I am. We're doing good.

Wish us luck!

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....but the countdown has been put on hold. Apparently.

This morning I've had 3 - count them, a measly 3 - extremely mild contractions. Hardly enough to throw a party over. The only difference was they made my back ache a little, and that can be the sign of a real contraction, instead of just a false labor contraction.

So, obediently, I got out of bed to change positions. I got myself some water, and ate an over-ripe peach. I could feel a kinship with it, I feel over-ripe myself. No contractions when standing up and moving around. Then I sat down to eat a graham cracker and type these few sentences, and lo and behold, a new, extremely mild contraction. With a twinge of a back ache. Humm. This could get interesting.

So why do I have a torpedo loaded and ready for launch? Because as of Thursday, July 31st, I was dilated 4 cm (out of 10 cm), 75% effaced, and was losing my mucus plug. Then that afternoon/evening I had major false labor contractions, enough so that I called my doula for reassurance and a fresh take on things. She didn't disappoint, she let me know that OBs will very often strip the membranes during an exam if they think the mom is far enough along, and 4 cm and 75% effaced definitely counts as far enough along. The pisser is, they often won't tell the patient that is what they are doing, which I find extremely irritating and a little unethical. As it turned out, it didn't lead to anything, but I would have been a lot more comfortable if I had known what was going on the whole time.

Note to harpie - When you get to the point where they are checking your cervix, ask them, each time, to tell you first if they're going to strip your membranes. It's not a bad idea - I could use a good mild intervention right now - but it's nice to know what is going on so when the false labor starts heating up you know what the score is. (That it can certainly lead to real labor, or not, but frequent non-rhythmic contractions that may or may not go anywhere are to be expected.) Plus, it's quite uncomfortable, so if I had it done again I'd prefer to know why my OB was hurting me instead of just wondering what was taking her so long.

Anyway, I have all the signs of imminent labor, except the actual labor. And this morning I've had a few contractions, but not enough to get me worked up. Just the one since I started typing. I'm thinking it's time to go back to bed. However, it's still a good sign. Maybe things will heat up later today. This kid is ready to come out, I know it. *I* am certainly ready. My due date is officially the 10th, but my OB says the way things look I probably won't make it that long. I was full term a week and a few days ago, this torpedo is prepped and ready.

Wish us luck, and much agonizing pain, to be delivered as soon as possible.

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Court approves evil gay agenda

Satan's plan to make uptight straight people "really uncomfortable" working out "fabulously," say Bay Area gays

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Friday, May 16, 2008

We are all going to die. Very, very soon. Did you know?

Apparently, the signs are all in place and the plague is clearly nigh and Armageddon is fast upon us because, oh my angry heterosexual god, the announcement has now been handed down: Couples who deeply love one another may now get married in California. It's true.

Wait, there's more. The couple in question might both have penises. Or they both might not. This is the crazy, terrifying new thing: It is totally up to them. Can you imagine?

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Fixed!

Yay! John fixed our laptop! I have computer access again! Yippie!!!!

Of course this doesn't mean I'll be able to keep up with LJ. I wasn't able to keep up with it before anyway. But now I'll have the opportunity...if not the actual positive circumstances.

Oh well. Life without a laptop in the kitchen has been harsh. I had to use the *gasp* Yellow Pages today! Thank goodness the horror is over.

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Best. Birthday. Present. EVAR.

In other news our air bed arrived, we set it up, and we've been sleeping on it the past three nights. I have to say, it's the best birthday present ever. It's huge, sooooo comfortable, kinda geeky with it's adjustable softness, and perfect for my preggers self. What other birthday present do you enjoy every single day, for (theoretically) 8 hours a day? Ahhhh, I really enjoy this bed.

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Decorating rooms is fundamentally a silly enterprise. Watching HGTV, DIY, and the rest of those shows is something I admit I enjoy occasionally, but again, it's silly. Why? Because it's just a way of distracting ourselves, convincing ourselves that we have control over our lives and surroundings, and giving ourselves something to do instead of facing the real complexities and difficulties and uncontrollable aspects of our lives.

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